It has been so long since last I wrote here. I did not realize how long.

Tonight was a great night on the lake. They held the Christmas parade of lights tonight. A lot of boat owners decorate their boats in lights and tinsle, and parade around the water in a beautiful display of the Christmas spirit. We did not participate in the lights, but we did go and support our fellow boaters by watching and cheering them from the side lines. It was great fun for everyone. The sail boats were spectacular with their tall masts gleaming in the night, one of them was a beautiful angle (photo on Left), others were huge Christmas trees, and one was even a space ship with 3 little green men. I am sorry about the picture quality, it was my cell phone. The picture on the right is a house boat with two stories of lights, and it was just beautiful.

This year started out so full of everything wonderful, and has been down hill since June. I lost my job in June and started the long road to finding a new one. It has been challaging and more difficult to deal with than I had imagined.

"This too shall pass" or so they say, but six months without work is a long time. The self doubt and anger grow daily. It is hard to be without the money, but the money is only a small piece of it in the long run. As all of you know that have lost a job due to no fault of your own, the loss of purpose is really much more difficult to deal with.

I have toyed with many ideas in these last six months to restore myself. I could write a book, open a store, volunteer, go back to school, or just stay at home and be me. However, I can't shake the nagging sensation that I MUST find another job. It is overwhelming me. None of the other ideas seem to stick, not one is worthy of my undivided attention. To tell you the truth, I thought I wanted to do every single one of those ideas at one point or another in my life. In fact, the book was even started a few years ago. Perhaps that is worth another go? What do all of you think? It probably won't be a masterpiece, I just need to finish it. Right?

You can tell by now that soul searching has never been my strong suit, but this last six months have proven that I could do with a little more of it. I suspect that I am affraid of it. I'm not even sure where to begin. Join an ashram in India? That is a daunting thought. Maybe move to a lone cabin in the woods, and live like a hermit for some undetermined amount of time? Whatever it is, I simply do not believe I can manage it. Fear has a strangle hold on me and I am doing a horrible job of breaking free.

On a more positive note, this year Garrett graduated from the University of Deleware, Amy is continuing her education at Kennesaw University, and Michael is doing great in the 8th grade. Also, Michael and I are still taking Karate, we still enjoy the lake and our boat, and we still have a wonderful family. Isn't that supposed to be enough? I have a good life, so am I selfish? If so, maybe that is why I cannot find a job, or even manage to finish a book I started a long time ago.

I hope to keep you all posted on the latest. With any luck, I will be back at work soon, and this will all be behind me. I will add more pictures then.